The End: Scituate (MA) Buccaneers 10 Minneapolis Millers 5

Bad time for our worst game of the tournament. We played in the opening round of the bracket, and we hoped to play on until the 3rd round at least, but it was not to be.Scituate had a good team, but unlike the teams that narrowly beat us in pool play, if we played them 10 times, we'd win more often than not. We got in a big hole in the first inning, slowly crawled back, only to have Scituate pull away in the later innings. They did hit 2 HR in the 5th, one an incredible 13 pitch at-bat, but mostly Scituate waited for us to beat ourselves, with walks, balks, and lack of clutch hitting with runners on base. We were nailed by very suspect calls in the 6th inning, and perhaps less-than-mature displays of emotion (see photo above, in which unnamed player who may be related to me kicks dirt in anger) early in the game gave the umps an excuse to bust us for any little thing. Sam's pitching was our high point. After putting out the fire in the first, he pitched 4 1/3 innings of solid ball, by far our longest outing of the year.

The kids were disappointed to be done so early, especially when they heard Scituate upended a higher ranked team in their next game, but the experience was far from over. With no more baseball to play, we took our requisite pictures at the park entry, blew a few hours at a Cooperstown beach, and then bummed around the town for the rest of daylight, taking in a game at Doubleday Field.

After that, pins, pins, pins.

Thursday was dominated by cleanup, the parents' trip to Ommegang Brewery (I believe a few stayed behind to watch the kids, but as far as I know, the kids were left to wander the streets of Millford and beg for bread crusts), closing ceremonies (see the rings below), and some of the most feverish eleventh-hour pin trading known to man.

Parting thoughts? As a coach, this may well be the most tiring thing I've done since bringing a home a newborn baby. But it was worth it (not something I can say for bringing home a newborn). From a kid and parent point of view, if you get the chance to take the trip, you take it.

Better Know a Miller (Finally Over! Edition): Jacob Werle

Last, but certainly not least, BKAM profiles Jacob Werle.

Name: Jacob Werle
Number: 6
School: Annunciation
Primary positions: C, P

Jacob Ballgame was critical to the team for his catching, pitching, and pull-hitting skills. He also ascribed to the belief of "why say something in 5 words when 50 will do?". Ask him how his arm felt, and you get a treatise. If he swung and missed, a detailed explanation of why he swung and missed would follow. Also won the team title for Most Equipment Lost or Misplaced.
2012 season high point: All year, Jacob was an assassin behind the plate, gunning down runners at 2nd.
2012 season low point: As the team's primary catcher and worst impersonator of Usain Bolt, was pinch-run for many times, aggrieving Jacob greatly and causing him to launch the "Free Werle" campaign, through which he protested the mistreatment of Werle-Americans on the bases.
Weird habit worth mentioning: Did geography homework in the dugout.Specifically, asked for help labeling African nations on a map.
Most likely to get kicked out of Cooperstown Dreams Park for: Communism. At Cooperstown, there's only one country you need to know, and that's the good old US of A.

Better Know a Miller: Mike Wallace

Name: Mike Wallace
Number: 12
School: Lake Country
Primary positions: OF, P

Mike was our Cooperstown guest performer. He played with our team in 2011, was on the other 12AA in 2012, but joined us for Cooperstown. The highlights below are provided by him. Note that he tends to exaggerate.
2012 season high point: Hit 17 HR in one game despite coming to the plate 3 times. Throws his change-up 118 MPH. And that's when he's kneeling. The one time he hit a batter the ball went all the way through the guy's body.
2012 season low point: Was walked 4 times in a game, ending his hitting streak at 7028 games.
Weird habit worth mentioning: Insight is limited, he only played with us at Cooperstown. Despite many terrible questions being asked during the year, Mike quickly took the standard for bad questions to a new level. Example from the first night: Mike: "I have a question". Adam: "Well, I'm explaining substitution rules, and it's late. This had better be a good question. And based on last year, my hopes are low". Mike: (points to cases of water) "Are those for us?" Adam: (hangs heads, sighs): "Mike, that question is so bad I don't even know what to say". You get the picture.
Most likely to get kicked out of Cooperstown Dreams Park for: Hard to say, great kid. But he does like to hug. And Uncle Lou does not seem like the hugging type, in his mind, hugging leads to sex changes. A thank you hug from Wallace might be the beginning to the perfect storm.

Better Know a Miller (Go Back to Your Real Life edition): Sam Virnig

We would have posted Sam's BKAM profile sooner, but in honor of his base-running tendencies, we "got a bad jump"

Name: Sam Virnig
Number: 7
School: Breck
Primary positions: P, 3B, C

Sam was a new Miller in 2012 but you wouldn't know it from the results. He was a strike-throwing machine who hit for power. With his shaggy hair and incessant yawning, it often seemed like Sam was on the brink of falling asleep, but never did. Except on the base paths. That's a different story.

2012 season high point: After not striking many people out, fanned 7 vs. St Croix to set a team record
2012 season low point: Take your pick of baserunning gems: Hit a spectacular bomb, stopped to watch his  hit and turned a triple into barely a single. Picked off by the same EP pitcher 3 teams. Was once nailed by a half-hearted pickoff attempt at 2nd because he jogged back to the base. We could go on. Trust me. We could go on.
Weird habit worth mentioning: If he wasn't at bat or on the mound, Sam was yawning
Most likely to get kicked out of Cooperstown Dreams Park for: Caught stealing (sorry, couldn't resist)

Better Know a Miller (Why are you still at it? Edition): Nate Rivers

The team has been back 10 days, but it just wouldn't be right to close the book without finishing BKAM. Especially Nate, whose BKAM profile could easily be the size of Moby Dick.

Name: Nate Rivers
Number: 
School: Anthony
Primary positions: OF, P, C

Nate was constructed in 2000 from equal parts pipe cleaners, tendon, adrenaline and tear ducts. He is a what is known as "five tools x2" guy. Not only can he hit for power, average, pitch, run the bases, and contribute in the field, but he can come perilously close to total physical self-destruction doing any of the five. He has a deep unmatched love for the game which is expressed with all-out hustle in the field, enthusiastic cheerleading in the dugout, and uncontrolled crying jags during the time of strife.
2012 season high point: Many OF highlights, but against Mankato, after announcing all year he was physically incapable of throwing a changeup, uncorked a change that the hitter was so far in front of he fell over trying to stop his swing.
2012 season low point: The pursuit of the elusive triple was a painful saga. In his first attempt, he took a wide turn at second, ran through a "stop" signal and was gunned down at 3rd (see above). Lesson learned, later in the year he paused at second despite the "run" signal, ran too late, and was again gunned down. In between there was a homerun which was arguably a triple due to poor outfielding. Crueler members of the "triples club" declared in at a homerun and informed Nate he still was not eligible for the club, furthering Nate's anguish.
Weird habit worth mentioning: Believes everything. Especially when it comes to tips on improving his game. If next year you see a green, Incredible Hulk clone playing for MYBA, it's because someone told Nate that taking huge doses of gamma rays would increase his power at the plate.
Most likely to get kicked out of Cooperstown Dreams Park for: There's no crying in baseball.

A Day in the Life

Cooperstown publishes a generic "Daily Itinerary" of what a tournament day is like. It captures a little bit of what really transpires. For a blow-by-blow depiction of a day for the players and coaches, check out this attempt to re-create what our Monday was like, with 11 and 4:30 PM games

7:00 AM - Coaches wake up
7:02 AM - Coaches take anti-nausea medicine to counter the effects of being saturated in the smell of 12-year old feet
7:15 AM - Coaches begin waking players up
7:20 AM - Players out of bed, dressing, brushing teeth
7:40 AM - Jacob Werle finally wakes up, informed he has blown his chance to brush teeth
8:00 AM - Breakfast
8:30 AM - Back to cabin
8:40 AM - Laundry retrieved by coach and Player A, who did something stupid the day before to earn           laundry duty
8:45 AM - Laundry distributed
8:50 AM - Player B does something stupid to do earn laundry duty going forward
8:55 AM - Rousing game of "All Right, Who's Wearing My Underwear?"
9:00 AM - Down time - pin trading, or, sleeping in full uniform, if your name is Ollie Evenson
9:30 AM - to batting cages and practice fields for practice
10:30 AM - depart practice fields for game
10:45 AM - take field for game
11:00 AM - Game time!!!
1:00 PM - Game ends
1:01 PM - Players hector parents for money to get concessions
1:05 PM - Groveling unsuccessful, kids and coaches head to barracks, sweet, sweet freedom for parents
1:15 PM - Lunch
1:45 PM - Into uniform for game 2, kids sing team anthem. Of course, I am referring to "Baby Got Back"
2:00 PM - Down time - pin trading, whiffle ball, or, sleeping in full uniform, if your name is Ollie Evenson

3:00 PM - to batting cages and practice fields for practice
4:00 PM - depart practice fields for game
4:15 PM  - take field for game
4:30 PM - Game time!!!
6:30 PM - Game ends
6:35 PM - Depart for Pizza dinner at place where parents are staying
7:00 PM - First parent observes that "the coaches seem to be hitting the beer pretty hard"
8:30 PM - Parents notice house now smells like 12-year old feet, begin musing on how late it is, and shouldn't the kids be getting back?
9:00 PM - Players and coaches return to barracks, sweet, sweet freedom for parents
9:05 PM - Down time, pin trading, whiffle ball, glow in the dark frisbee, watching inappropriate videos on You Tube, or sleep if your name is Ollie Evenson
9:45 PM - Player B brought in side for laundry duty, complains it should have been given to Player C through L
10:00 PM - Coaches bring players in to get ready for bed, brush teeth, shower
10:10 PM  - Coaches shake off shock of how few players brush their teeth or shower
10:15 PM - Ollie Evenson confirmed to be in some kind of coma
10:30 PM - lights off, quiet talking OK
10:45 PM - quiet time enforced, coaches head outside to debrief on day
10:50 PM - "Shut up in there!'
10:52 PM - "I mean it!"
10:53 PM - "Next person who talks gets laundry duty tomorrow"
10:55 PM - Dead silence
11:00 PM - Coaches fall asleep sitting upright at picnic bench

Game 6: JCB Cobras 7 Minneapolis Millers 2

Another game where we didn't win but can hold our head up. Even though we were down only 2-1 through 4 1/2, this one never felt like we were on the brink of pulling it off, probably because we generated so little offense against JCB's wild but hard-throwing pitchers.

Still, the game was great because it showed more ways Cooperstown required the kids to step it up. Take Jake Rand for example. At the plate he is undersized, gets nervous against hard-throwers, has had trouble with 2 strikes in the count. So what does he do? Falls behind 0-2 against one of JCB's flamethrowers before crushing a ball down the right field line for his first double of the year and one of few hard hit balls for us in the game. Pitching was another improvement. Most of our pitchers this year have thrown primarily fastballs, with a changeup tossed in now and then. Before the trip, a Cooperstown stopped by and talked to the boys, and told them that approach wouldn't work, that the hitters would sit on the fastball. Many of the boys did not take this to heart, and in their first pitching appearance, threw primarily fastballs. Some survived unscathed, some did not. Jacob went with the fastball in his first game and got pounded. For this game, though, he had learned his lesson, threw a ton of changeups, and did a great job keeping a strong team off-balance for 3 innings.

Pool play ended with us 1-5 and in 89th place out of 104. We certainly could have won more and been ranked higher, and this was definitely below the goal of many players. Regardless, our play had left us with much to feel good about.

Game 5: Norfolk Surge 6 Minneapolis Millers 5

Damn. I mean, darn. If there was a game that left regret and bad feelings, this was it. It was tied going into the 6th before the Surge scratched out a run. We did so many things well. Wyatt, Nate, and Noah pitched great. Jacob made a major contribution while playing through pain. Mike W had a huge hit. So why the regret? We negated all those good things by coughing up 5 runs in a miserable second inning, which included 2 fly balls lost in the sun, and even though we came back from 5-1 to tie it, just a little more hitting would have been enough to bury the Surge. Bad feelings? Yep. The Surge coaches and players were all classy. But for the first time we had umpiring controversy, with Adam protesting a ruling and asking for the Tournament Director's ruling. The Director sided with us, awarding us a double play. The overruled ump sulked for a few innings, and then when we were poised to take the lead, called one of our runners out on a pickoff play which looked suspiciously like a revenge call. And the Surge had some loud, leather-lunged parents who yelled/cheered nonstop, and when we couldn't shut them up by beating them, we had even non-criers in tears.

Good lesson learned though. We played 5 quality innings. But out here, against a good team like the Surge, that's enough only for a moral victory. It takes 6 to win.

Better Know a Miller (Ridiculously Late Edition): Jake Rand

Welcome back to Better Know a Miller, which since it is 2 weeks late, could easily be renamed "Better Know When Not to Bite Off More Than You Can Chew, Stupid". Anyway, introducing Jake Rand, who is probably afraid to read this section.

Name: Jake Rand
Number: 1
School: Breck
Primary positions: 2B

Jake is the team's primary 2nd baseman, where he vacuums up every ground ball in sight, and also the team's  primary dugout neurotic, responsible for informing the team that the pitcher out there....he throws really hard...like Nolan Ryan hard...and we are all doomed, doomed I say! When his mind was not pre-occupied with the demise of the Millers and civilization as a whole, Jake ran the bases like a waterbug.
2012 season high point: For the last half of the season, it seemed like all outs were recorded by Jake.
2012 season low point: Lost much of the season to a phony-sounding knee ailment called Osgood-Schlatter Syndrome. I mean, really. Osgood-Schlatter sounds like an office supply company. Next year Jake will probably get Chik-Fil-A Syndrome, in which his elbow locks up and is unable to perform on Sundays.
Weird habit worth mentioning: Constantly asking when the current practice or drill would be over, creating the effect of traveling cross country with a 4-year old. Jake, do not make me come back there! I will stop this car!
Most likely to get kicked out of Cooperstown Dreams Park for: Violation of noise abatement codes. When Jake gets unhappy he can hit high-pitched notes that cause dog eardrums to explode.

Game 4: New Fairfield Thundercats 7 Minneapolis Millers 3 (extra innings)

The 42-0 loss didn't hurt the kids, but this one did, because it was right there to be won. Down a run with 2 outs in the 6th, Dom  (below) poked a single to right, and Zach hit a double that just missed going out to score him. Jacob also barely missed a HR in the 4th. The wheels came off a bit in the 7th, but until then, defense was solid, and we got great pitching from Sam, Ollie, and Luke.

This was our first look at a steady of diet of curveballs, and for the most part we were bamboozled by it. We finally had some kids start to figure it out late in the game  (see Dom below, waiting on a curve), one of many ways Cooperstown educated the kids and required them to elevate their game.

Better (late than never) Know a Miller: Luke Mahler

Name: Luke Mahler
Number: 8
School: Minnehaha Academy
Primary positions: 1B, P

Don't let Luke's calm and pleasant demeanor fool you. If 12AA Orange has a diva, it's Luke, for no other reason than he refuses to slide or get HBP. Luke pitched quite a bit for us, even on days he had a fresh manicure. He was very effective in the leadoff spot, and also at tripping baserunners at 1B who annoyed him.

2012 season high point: Went yard at Cooperstown.
2012 season low point: Nearly forgot to touch 3rd base on his Homerun trot.
Weird habit worth mentioning: For much of the year, flat-out refused to slide. Diva. Also, throws L and bats R, which, according to many German baseball coaches, is a sign of serious genetic inferiority, which can only be addressed through extermination.
Most likely to get kicked out of Cooperstown Dreams Park for: What would a diva do? What would Celine Dion do? Let's go with trashing the CDP breakfast buffet because the gruel is not imported, free-range gruel.

Better (late than never) Know a Miller: Jack Knapp

Luggage woes and coaching baseball are incompatible with blogging. Even though the tournament is over, BKAM slogs sadly on.

Name: Jack Knapp
Number: 5
School: Annunciation
Primary positions: CF

Jack has the energy of a 5-year old, the  heart of a 10-year old, the bat of a 15-year old, the brooding personality of a 40-year old, and the eyebrows of a 90-year old. At Cooperstown bought a bucket for $10 during the team's post-tournament junk auction. Future requests to serve as team's Junior Treasurer will be turned down.

2012 season high point: Huge hitting season. The ball looked like a volleyball to Jack for much of the year.
2012 season low point: Redacted. We don't talk about that one anymore, it was pretty bad. Kids, make sure if you hit a single to right with two outs in the 6th, that you run hard to first.
Weird habit worth mentioning: Could not get going at morning practices at all early in the year. When asked what was wrong with Jack, Dom replied, "he hasn't had his coffee and cigarette yet".
Most likely to get kicked out of Cooperstown Dreams Park for: If anyone was going to enter the forbidden grounds of CDP, Jack was the one.

Game 3: Minneapolis Millers 14 Boston Shamrocks 5

Winner, winner, chicken dinner.

The 42-0 game was the talk of the park.On Monday AM, the kids showed no ill effects and led the entire game. Zach and Nate were nervous on the mound, possibly due to feeling the pressure to get a win, but they kept Boston from doing much damage.  It was only 7-5 going into the 6th, but with 2 outs and no runs in, Boston made the kind of mental error that causes men to stop coaching and become meth addicts to keep the inning going. After that, the flood gates opened. Ollie destroyed a ball for our first HR, a Grand Slam, no less. Not long after that, Luke Mahler hit a 2-run shot of his own, and we were in the win column. We were no longer the butt of jokes (really, we never were, but that reads better). With a close loss, an epic pummeling, and a big win, we were the week's statistical curiosity.

Game 2: Massapequa Cyclones East (NY) 42 Minneapolis Millers 0

You read that right. 42 runs. This was a no-hoper game. During warm ups, I turned to Adam (Head Coach) and asked him how big Massapequa was. His reply: They are all bigger than Zach. Zach is our biggest player. Uh-oh. They won their opener, 29-1. Uh-oh x2. During a pregame chat, their coach, who was pretty humble (yes, settle down, a humble New Yorker), tried explaining their opener by saying the other team got demoralized. So they made errors then? No, don't remember them making any, actually. Uh-oh x3. We were down 9-0 in the first and it got worse from there. Can't say we played well, can't say we played terrible, because how we played didn't matter. They were too good for us in every aspect of the game.

If you think this sapped the team's spirits, think again. Once reality set in, the kids accepted their fate well. I think all 12 kids knew that at some point, a beatdown was coming.

Game 1: Rox (Irvine, CA) 7, Minneapolis Millers 3

First off, a word about competition at Cooperstown. No Minneapolis Millers team will ever win this tournament. There are too many teams that are put together for this occasion, too many teams who consider the trip a waste if they don't win it, too many teams filled with parents willing to die trying to get their boys to the majors, too many teams who consider cross-country trips for tournaments like this old hat. If we can get a team to Thursday, meaning, a team into the final 16 of bracket play, that would be something. We haven't done it yet.

In baseball, you never say never, getting to Thursday is beyond our expectations. We are an AA team, and while we are a good AA team, the  Minnesota AA teams that have gone before us this year haven't had a ton of success. 4 of them lost all their games, although we are better than all of them.  Bloomington had a good tournament, won 3 games. If we can win 3, it will be a successful tournament.

Going in, we figured there would be a few teams we were flat out better than, and 1-2 dozen teams we had virtually no shot of beating. At some point, we'll run into one of these teams and be on the business end of a thrashing. It happens to nearly all Minnesota teams. The rest of the teams would be either pretty close to us or teams we could beat, but we'd have to play 6 excellent innings to do so.

Rox falls into the last category. We played very well, but not great. There was room for improvement, and that room for improvement was the difference between giving Rox a good game and beating them. In the first  inning, we got two quick outs, but then Rox hit a homerun. The fences at Cooperstown are only 200', so what would be routine fly at most Minnesota parks leaves the field in Cooperstown. After the homer, the team seemed to tighten up a bit, and made two quick errors followed by another HR. The second inning one more HR, and some more solid hits made it 7-1 after 2. It looked like our first game would end in destruction, but we kept them off the board after that. In the last inning, we got some hits, and combined with some errors on Rox, cut it to 7-3 and got the tying run to the on-deck circle. At this point, Rox brought in their dragonslayer, and he ripped through the heart of our order. Good game, not a win, but showed the kids they belonged here.

Day 1

Chef (Zach) and I finally arrived at CDP Saturday morning. For those unfamiliar with Cooperstown Dreams Park, it's a baseball complex with a lodging and support services for the lodging (food, etc) onsite. Going in, my expectations were that the grounds would be beautiful, the lodging would be spartan, and beyond that it would match what you get on the website a lot of cheap patriotism and cheap nostalgia. I've been to the website dozens of times now, and if I get one more reference to yesteryear, I'm gonna yesterpuke. The cheap nostalgia was not on display at CDP. Cheap patriotism? Roger that. If blowing your nose with Old Glory wasn't considered borderline sacrilege, the Kleenex here would be designed like the Stars and Stripes.

On the lodging front, spartan would be spot on. Each team gets its own clubhouse/barracks, which is basically a sardine can with less brine. 2 rows of 4 metal bunks.

There are no games Saturday. Day 1 is all about orientation and hammering home the Arbeit Macht Frei ethos of the Cooperstown Dreams Park. After some time to ourselves, we were brought, cattle-like, to the orientation session. This included a keynote address from the visionary behind the CDP, Lou Presutti, shown below modeling the first version of the CDP Uniform.

Uncle Lou has created something amazing in CDP. He also, in his reactionary, old millionaire fart way, worries about the wrong stuff. Primarily uniforms. Kids are required to wear their jersey with the pants rolled up to the knee. The reasons for this are probably similar to the reasons it is unlawful to cross into Minnesota with a duck on your head. Kids can be suspended for having their jerseys untucked. Seriously. Most damnable, each team gets an unattractive blue jersey and red jersey, and this is the playing garb for the year. Because blue and red are American colors. Red is also a very popular color in China and the old USSR, but don't tell Lou that. How awesome would it be to see 104 teams, many of whom would design something special for the occasion, showing their colors? Pretty awesome. But it doesn't happen, so that the kids can fulfill some guys imagining of hack Americana.

Fortunately, the great thing about kids is that these weird obsessions can't keep them from having an awesome time. Down time is spent trading pins, working on baseball, playing Frisbee, and just being themselves.

The afternoon included the Opening Ceremonies.Big old parade of 104 teams. Pretty boring, except for the skills competition. We came close to getting to the Finals in Around the Horn Plus, in which 9 kids have to make 11 throws as quick as they could. No major errors, but a few throws just off the mark were enough to keep us from moving on. Considering how many good teams made boatloads of mistakes, the team did great.

No real problems getting the kids to bed by 10:30. And we did it without drugging them.

The One Where the Blogger Starts to Get Caught Up

I have no idea how industrial-strength bloggers keep up with their activity when the annoyances and realities of life take over. My conclusion: bloggers have no life to distract them. Now that the annoyances of everyday life are over (the baggage is now here, but it's obvious that Delta's baggage tracking system is nothing more than a big Wheel of Fortune wheel with an enormous "You're Screwed!" space), I can get caught up providing a first hand account of the sights, sounds, and since I'm staying with 12 baseball players and their socks, especially the smells of Cooperstown.

The Barracks

East Germany, 1981

Miller (down) Time

Wiffle Ball

Pin Trading

Pre-game Prep

Future Hall of Famers

Opening Ceremonies

Sporting the Aviators

Better Know a Sucky Airline: Delta

looking forward to being reunited with baggage.

Better Know a Miller: Oliver Evenson

Better Know a Miller turns its attention to Ollie Evenson, who while not playing for the Millers, competed on the sixth-grade version of So You Think You Can Dance? (see below)

Name: Ollie Evenson
Number: 10
School: Annunciation
Primary positions: 1B, P

Ginger. Big Red. The Big Lefty. Jose. Ollie has nearly as many nicknames as he does freckles. Olllie is known for the wicked movement on his fastball, his blazing speed, his moon shots down the right field line, and the shredded, blood caked knees of his baseball pants. This kid sure does bleed a lot. We're in trouble if we run into a vampire team in Cooperstown.

2012 season high point: Tough call between 2 innings of nothing but Ks vs Anoka and the game where his knees stopped bleeding for 15 minutes.
2012 season low point: During warmups at GSTC, hit an old woman with an errant throw.
Weird habit worth mentioning: Ollie has that Will Ferrell thing going, where whatever he does is funny, even if he's dead serious. At one preseason practice Ollie was asked to demonstrate bunting technique. He laid down a perfect bunt, but half the team fell to the ground laughing.
Most likely to get kicked out of Cooperstown Dreams Park for: Uniform violation. Cooperstown Dreams Park bans bleeding. It is unpatriotic.

Better Know a Miller: Wyatt Deyoung

Batting 4th in the Better Know a Miller lineup is Wyatt Deyoung, a natural-born cleanup hitter if there ever was one.

Name: Wyatt Deyoung
Number: 13
School: Anthony
Primary positions: SS, P

Wyatt is counted on to anchor the infield at SS, pitch to contact, get on base with his quick bat, and lift heavy objects. Despite his size or lack thereof, Wyatt hit one out during the team's Homerun Derby (and was narrowly robbed of two others). Rumors that during the Homerun Derby he was allowed to hit the ball, pick it up where it landed, and hit it again, are completely false.

2012 season high point: Pitched 6 brilliant innings en route to winning the Eastridge Tournament, after which Wyatt reported his arm felt like it had fallen off.
2012 season low point: Was cruelly forced to miss part of the season and endure a miserable 3-week vacation in Hawaii.
Weird habit worth mentioning: Early in the season Wyatt became known for bumping, shoving, and grabbing baserunners at second base. He stopped when the coaches informed him that checking was not allowed until 13U.
Most likely to get kicked out of Cooperstown Dreams Park for: Being mistaken for somebody's younger brother.

Final preparations @ Armatage

Better Know a Miller: Noah Cierzan

The third installment of Better Know a Miller introduces Noah Cierzan, shown below losing a bet on whether or not he can kick himself in the head.

Name: Noah Cierzan
Number: 9
School: Anthony
Primary positions: P, 3B

Noah has a reputation as a "smart player", which makes him a very alert base runner, and also the player on the team least likely to stick his tongue to a frozen metal pole. He had several huge hits and key pitching outings, but undoubtedly his biggest contribution was bringing the "energy bucket", which is filled with sugary junk food that gets the team hyped up early in the game.

2012 season high point: In a tight game vs. Farmington, picked off 2 runners in the same inning, causing the Farmington coach to drop to his knees, cover his face with his hat, and swear up a storm.
2012 season low point: Picked off in the 6th inning of a close game vs. Red Wing. The call was terrible but the meltdown was worse. During the tantrum, Noah threw a base, ripped out the shortstop's windpipe, and bit the head off a pigeon. Basically, it was behavior typical of a MYBA Board of Directors' meeting.
Weird habit worth mentioning: When Noah gets a 3-ball count and takes a pitch, before the ump's call, he will throw his bat and run to first, and then act stunned if the ump calls a strike. He's going to be either a really good salesman or a really bad actor.
Most likely to get kicked out of Cooperstown Dreams Park for: Trespassing. This one takes some explaining. The team's pre-game runs sometimes accidentally become obstacle courses, requiring the kids to navigate fences, gates, back yards, and in some cases, creeks. Some players have had trouble with the fences, Noah in particular. So, when the team sneaks out of the barracks after curfew, climbs a fence into the forbidden zone of CDP, triggers an alarm and runs back to the barracks, 11 players will make it back safely, and the CDP cops will find Noah caught by his shirt on the fence like Peter Rabbit.

Better Know a Miller: Zachary Blumenfeld

Moving down the alphabet, Better Know a Miller continues with a look at Zachary Blumenfeld. Some believe that many times, having a parent on the coaching staff is a benefit. This is not one of those times.

Name: Zachary Blumenfeld
Number: 36
School: Anthony
Primary positions: P, SS, OF

Zach led the team in HBP with an unofficial 13, and is a candidate for the "Golden Welt" trophy given to the state's most-beaned player. He led the team in several other categories: Triples, K (as pitcher), helmets thrown, times yelled at by coach for not stretching properly, teammates thrown under bus in postgame wrap-up, stink eyes given to assistant coach.


2012 season high point: Dominant pitching effort vs. Edina, over 3 innings, nobody reached base, except one player he beaned. Which, BTW, he promised to do pre-game. Atta boy!
2012 season low point: After yet another helmet-chucking incident, received a parental one-game suspension. As a result, while the rest of the team was scoring 28 runs vs. Roseville, he was a the bat-boy.
Weird habit worth mentioning: Prefers to wear a jersey with his name misspelled.
Most likely to get kicked out of Cooperstown Dreams Park for: Uniform violations. CDP is pretty OCD about unis. Unis must be tucked in, pants worn at the knee, underwear must be ironed, jersey must be clean and washed in between innings and after every slide. Zach is still stuck on tucking in his shirt. We've got a ways to go to get to CDP standards.

Better Know a Miller: Dominic Ball

The first installment of Better Know a Miller kicks off with Dom Ball, who, with Jackson Arms not making the trip, has the misfortune of being the first player alphabetically.


Name: Dominic Ball
Number: 4
School: Annunciation
Primary positions: SS, 3B, 2B

On a team of hypochondriacs, neurotics, and caffeine junkies, Dom is a calming influence.  He is well-known for clutch hits, an easy deameanor, and for stealing the game ball after wins. Because his parents hate him he attended an all-day baseball camp briefly during the season, meaning one day he played 33 innings of baseball. We were amazed he could even walk.

2012 season high point: Several bases-clearing doubles in tournaments.
2012 season low point: Error on a game-end grounder rolling about as fast as a hamster in an exercise ball opened the floodgates in an agonizing tie vs Edina.
Weird habit worth mentioning: Dom has taken the use of charcoal smudge to the next level. He once pitched a game with his face entirely covered in black smudge. This made him look like either a burn victim or a racist caricature.
Most likely to get kicked out of Cooperstown Dreams Park for: Racially insensitive use of face paint.

Better Know a Miller

Welcome to Better Know a Miller, your guide to the Minneapolis Millers 2012 12AA Cooperstown team. For those of you unfamiliar with the team, Better Know a Miller will introduce the 12 outstanding players making the trip. The inspiration for BKAM was Deadspin's Better Know an Umpire. Basically, we've ripped that off. And we swear less. At least on this blog.

Play of the day...

Clip of the day...

Train time in 5 days...

Play of the day..

Play of the day....

7 day countdown...

Better bring the bucket o' energy to NY?

200 foot fences...

"Werle, when is the Cooperstown trip?"

Winning on way to New York...

Welcome Millers Fans and Friends!