Better Know a Miller (Ridiculously Late Edition): Jake Rand

Welcome back to Better Know a Miller, which since it is 2 weeks late, could easily be renamed "Better Know When Not to Bite Off More Than You Can Chew, Stupid". Anyway, introducing Jake Rand, who is probably afraid to read this section.

Name: Jake Rand
Number: 1
School: Breck
Primary positions: 2B

Jake is the team's primary 2nd baseman, where he vacuums up every ground ball in sight, and also the team's  primary dugout neurotic, responsible for informing the team that the pitcher out there....he throws really hard...like Nolan Ryan hard...and we are all doomed, doomed I say! When his mind was not pre-occupied with the demise of the Millers and civilization as a whole, Jake ran the bases like a waterbug.
2012 season high point: For the last half of the season, it seemed like all outs were recorded by Jake.
2012 season low point: Lost much of the season to a phony-sounding knee ailment called Osgood-Schlatter Syndrome. I mean, really. Osgood-Schlatter sounds like an office supply company. Next year Jake will probably get Chik-Fil-A Syndrome, in which his elbow locks up and is unable to perform on Sundays.
Weird habit worth mentioning: Constantly asking when the current practice or drill would be over, creating the effect of traveling cross country with a 4-year old. Jake, do not make me come back there! I will stop this car!
Most likely to get kicked out of Cooperstown Dreams Park for: Violation of noise abatement codes. When Jake gets unhappy he can hit high-pitched notes that cause dog eardrums to explode.